Adventure.

So I've decided that today I shall blog about my 11 secrets.

why 11? because it's my favorite number.

initially i wanted to the my 10 secret, but one more won't hurt.

#01

Strawberries is my favorite fruit

buy me this, I'll be this.

if there can only be one food that I could eat for the rest of my life,

it would be strawberries.

if i have a boyfriend, I'll ask him buy strawberries

instead of chocolates.

#02

I have a crush on someone for a long long time.

years and I think I am still crushing on him.

it comes and go but never gone forever.

no one knew who I crush on,

not a single soul :)

sneaky but safe~

#03

I hate going to the doctors.

reason being, firstly, my parent never notice if I'm sick or they just don't care.

when lil bro have a slight cough, he get a day off school

& pampering.

secondly, I don't like the thought that i have to pay them to get better

when I can get better by myself.

only it takes longer.

the only time that I went to a doctor is when I really need an MC for school.

which most probably I wasn't that sick that time.

but most of the time, I don't give a damn about MCs.

so I just skipped school even if when I'm sick.

I don't need to prove to the school that I am sick.

lastly, I rarely get really sick.

worst is I got a fever or a flu and cough for weeks.

other than that, I would just get better by myself.

I self-medicate myself for short~

^.^v

#04

I wish I lived in America.

there is so much things in America.

and travelling to another country is no big deal.

from Cali to Florida or Miami.

What I am saying is, that continent is BIG yo!

you can travel around the US & explore.

I am big on travelling.

I love & want to travel if I could.

& here, i can travel to at most 3 countries nearby.

I really love to explore American culture and experience it.

go to their mall and maybe bump into some celebrities.

who knows? it might happen okayy~

#05

reason why I "suddenly" wanted to start on a healthy lifestyle.

in another word, dieting.

I would be lying if I never thought of dieting before.

but I never came to it because of one phrase

"I'll start tomorrow"

but really the reason was I never had a friend that is close called me fat.

yea sure they might say it indirectly.

but so far, in my life, my girls never did say that word to me.

they believe, every girl is beautiful.

but about months ago, my friend told me a conversation going on with her parents.

seriously, idk if they are being honest or something else.

they seems to labelled me as the "FAT FRIEND"

as a usual friend,not that i expect but..., a friend should like defend and say it's rude to call names.

but no, this one didn't.

as much as I love her being my friend.

but I can't accept the fact that someone would call me that.

I never did accept it if anyone use that word to me.

for years I suck it up and smile.

every time with my family & friends.

but when one of my close friend do that.

it just hit me like a train~

so i was tired of being that fat friend

or fat daughter

or fat cousin

or fat student

etc etc...

so I made a choice that this year I am definitely doing something about it.

and hopefully I will succeed.

words do hurt, bare in mind~

#06

I would love to have a pet dog or puppies!

if wasn't for my religious reason.

I would definitely adopt a dog for sure!!

they are such a good companion.

screw my family, screw my friends [joking]

I would just hang out with my dog all day if i have to~

seriously, I feel that animals are better than human when it comes to love.

and their loyalty to a man is so faithful.

I'd love to have a pet dog if I could, seriously!

#07

I secretly wanted to be an actress or singer.

I want to be a performer.

reason being, it's fun.

their life is full of fun and excitement.

I mean their working is not even working.

If you are doing what you love,

you won't feel that you are working at all, true?

sometimes, I wonder what is like to be someone else rather than me.

I wish I was talented enough or confident enough.

I dream BIG, only problem is that I don't go or work for it~

#08

I wish I could get a tattoo.

tattoo is also another thing that has to do with my religious rights.

i am proud of being Muslim, yes I do.

& I am faithful to my religion & my god, Allah s.w.t.~

but tattoo to me is meaningful.

I am talking about tattoos with stories

not those tattoo of dragon or what not.

to me that is waste of art.

tattoo is a body art & I appreciate it a lot even if I can't have it.

I only appreciate it if there's a story behind every tattoo a person had.

having tattoo for the fun of it is meaningless.

I have nothing against people with tattoos.

sometimes, I just love it if its beautiful & meaningful~

#09

I am suicidal to a small extent.

I would be lying if I never thought of ending my life

or hurt myself.

I do it occasionally when I'm at the most lower time in my life.

when everything couldn't have gone worst & it did.

but I hope I have successfully hidden it from everyone.

well I successfully hidden from my family.

from my friends, I'm sure I did too.

but not now, cause some of you will be reading this, thus knowing it~

I have my reasons of why I do it.

you couldn't understand no matter how much you experience it yourself.

everyone have their way of handling their own problem.

not that I am saying that I have no other way than suicidal thoughts or hurting myself.

but that is the way of me, getting my ass back up.

feeling as strong as I was before.

let's just say this is the only way that I will feel better of myself.

trying to prove everyone who ever doubt me.

#10

most of the time I wish I could fake my own death.

see who really cares in a long run.

and then all my questions would be answered.

humans are very clever & a very good actor when it comes to lying.

truly, I believe every single soul on this planet knows how to lie.

even if they said they're such a bad liar,

doesn't mean they never lied before.

I never met a 100% honest person before.

and neither am i.

I am such a good liar that regularly, I lie to myself.

but sometimes, you know you lie to often that

when someone is trying to lie to you

and you know they are lying because you've tried that a thousand times.

so my friends, some of you are such good actor & actress.

and so am I, acting that you were telling the truth & respond~

but don't worry, sometime you are so good that i can't tell

if its a lie or the truth~

so be grateful that I prefer see the best in people that care the most~

#11

which brings me to the last secret.

I prefer being by myself to prevent from any disappointments and lies.

at times, & sometimes on a long run, I prefer being by myself.

lying to myself so that it wouldn't seem that no one cares or give a damn.

I don't like giving my hopes up thinking I have such wonderful people in my life.

because if I do, then all my life

it would be a life full of disappointment & regrets.

thus, being by myself & lying to myself.

is the best way possible to keep me running & live happily~

TA-DA~

that's my 11 secrets which are no longer a secret so much.

Labels: 11 secrets, alone, America, crush, dieting, doctors, Dogs, fake death, performer, strawberries, suicidal, tattoo