Adventure.

I have trust issues. I mean. Who doesnt?

I want to be in a commited relationship.

Be it with friends or someone special..

But im so afraid.

I had friends who knew me for years.

And they dont seem to be all understanding.

Finding the wrong in me.

"trying" to help me.

In the end just aint right for me.

And let me tell you.

It doesnt matter if you're friends for 10 years..

If they aint right, they aint right.

Quotes saying,

"friendship that last over 7 years will last forever"

Wrong! Mine ended at 7 years.

Whats worst. I know who they are.

I knw what they are capable of.

Yet i stayed maybe i have noone else to call

"friends"

I had boyfriend that promise every such thing.

No matter how much i tell him,

Not to make promises that he cant keep.

He still gives me false hope.

Thinking maybe i should just go with it.

But lies after lies.

Secrets after secrets.

Promises after promises.

It aint right either.

I gave my all to these people.

To people i though would be there no matter what.

But in the end i just felt used .

I am so many things.

I dont need a popular crowd or a prince charming.

I just want that one or few people i can really talk.

And dont judge.

I treat people how i want to be treated.

But i dont usually get the same thing in return.

I change because of people like them.

Making me hard to trust human beings.

Having a group of friend who talk about each other.

A guy who treat you diffently in front of his friends

Why cant people be true to themselves.

Maybe i was wrong.

Trying to be someone im not with them.

But i was who i am when with him.

Secrets told. Secrets kept. Secrets leaked.

No one in this world can be trusted.

Yes, i may want a luxury life.

An american-like life.

But thats just a fantasy.

Thats just what i keep telling everyone.

But what do you know?

What do this people really know about me?

I have friends now that are so wonderful.

So fun and out there.

But im nothing like them.

I like being with them because they're adventurous.

But at the same time, they're not a great influence.

I may have a guy who like me.

Its way too obvious sometimes.

But i just couldnt put myself out there yet.

Not until i explore the world.

I dont want any commitment for now.

Not with anyone or anything.

I keep giving people my best.

But the other party, dont.

So, being on my own shall be good for now.

Less dissappointment for me.

I always hoped for the best.

I forgot what it was like to have all the time for me.

Improving myself. Finding myself all over again.

I was independent then.

I am independent now.

I care too much about people who dont even care about me.

Time for a change this time.

A good change for me.